Today I want to stir the pot, but I know I'll regret it tomorrow. I have an overwhelming desire to blurt out loud all of the things I've been saving up. All the remarks I am not allowed to say, the cutting comebacks I bite back, the hypocritical judgments that would reflect so poorly on my character. I can just see the pot, sitting there, looking all clean and reserved and my hand reaches out for the spoon. There is so much I could unleash lately, but I hold back. Its a self-preservation thing.
The problem with stirring the pot is that the payoff is seldom worth the long term consequences. There may be a momentary release, but the guilt and isolation brought on by letting your guard down lasts a lot longer than the high.
I'm hoping to lend this pot stirring fixation to my writing. It is far more rewarding to deal with the consequences when my characters are the ones stirring the pots. Perhaps I can live vicariously through their biting remarks, and lack of vocal filters. If they have a lapse in judgment, I can play both sides of the coin. I can push buttons I would never dare approach in real life. I can finally release the pent up rage, and then turn it around and respond with the righteous indignation one is entitled to, when verbally attacked. I think it could be fun.
Breathe sigh of relief. Chalk this one up in the writing-as-therapy category.