My Head is Full

My head is full tonight.
Full of things that could be, should be, but will they ever be?
Am I working hard enough or just wasting the opportunity? Does it make a difference if no one ever sees what is inside of me?
Or Should I let it be, just for him, for me?
Something that no one else can ever see?
I want to let it out, but inside it is still perfect, basking in amniotic memory.
When it breaks free it is filthy, ugly, scary, changed from its strong consistency.
Becoming something I’m afraid to be.
Where is the courage that yesterday promised me?
Where is the discipline I claimed to see?
I guess there is nothing left but to just be.
I hope you’re with me.