Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Reasons I Didn't Write This Week

Everyday I come up with a new justification for my lack of writing. Usually it goes a little something like this:

Little Voice in my head: "Rachel, I noticed your screenplay is at the same page count as yesterday, why is that do you think?"

Me: "Well, I was scheduled for a 9:30 start at work, and we both know that I am a terrible morning writer. Then I had a birthday dinner to go to tonight and I didn't get home until late, so I figured I'd go full board tomorrow."

Little Voice: "Hey Rachel, I was wondering if you hit your five page goal today?"

Me: "Oh! Well, technically I didn't actually hit the keyboard, but I did a lot of mental writing. So don't worry, work has been done.

LV: "Mental writing?"

Me: "Yeah, where you think about what you want to write when you have time to sit down next. Mental writing is the new five pages!"

LV: "Rachel, its Saturday. I was really hoping I'd see that progress we've been talking about."

Me: "Oh hey, yeah, I'm just really not feeling very well today. I think I ate some questionable food. Really the only thing that can help me today is gingerale and reality television."

LV: "Time well spent."

Me: "Was that sarcasm?"

LV: "Caught that did you?"

Me: "Hey Little Voice, aren't you going to harass me today?"

LVIMH: "What, you don't think I deserve a day off? I'm part of a union you know!"

Me: "Whoah, hey, relax!"

LV: "Now that you mention it..."

Me: "No way, you lost your chance. I'm going out"

LV: "Rachel, I'm serious. You owe me about six billion pages today."

Me: "Right, I know. Listen though, I'm thinking I'm just going to wait until after our company comes and goes next week. I have a lot of errands to do before then."

LV: "Rachel?"

Me: "Dude, I told you. Company, errands. I'll just be stressed if I start writing now."

LV: "Yeah, I'm thinking a little stress may be healthy for you at this point, rather than the utter complacancy we've been experiencing of late."

Me: "What? Sorry? I was staring at the wall for a minute and tuned you out."

LV "So, you want to be a burger jockey?"

Me: "What? No!

LV: "Oh, sorry my mistake. WRITE!"

Me: "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I need a new project."

LV: "I quit."

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