Vincent
Ready to go?
Mia
Not yet, I'm going to interview you first. Are you
any relation to Suzanne Vega?
Vincent
Yeah she's my cousin.
Mia
Suzanne Vega the folk singer is your cousin?
Vincent
Suzanne Vega's my cousin. If she's become a folk
singer I sure as hell don't know nothin' about it,
but then I haven't been to too many Thanksgivings lately.
Mia
I'm going to ask you a bunch of quick questions I've
come up with that more or less tell me what kind of
person I'm having dinner with. My theory is that when
it comes to important subjects, there's only two ways a
person can answer. For instance, there's only two
kinds of people in the world, Elvis people and Beatles
people. Now Beatles people can like Elvis. And Elvis
people can like the Beatles. But nobody likes them
both equally. Somewhere you have to make a choice.
And that choice tells me who you are.
Ready to go?
Mia
Not yet, I'm going to interview you first. Are you
any relation to Suzanne Vega?
Vincent
Yeah she's my cousin.
Mia
Suzanne Vega the folk singer is your cousin?
Vincent
Suzanne Vega's my cousin. If she's become a folk
singer I sure as hell don't know nothin' about it,
but then I haven't been to too many Thanksgivings lately.
Mia
I'm going to ask you a bunch of quick questions I've
come up with that more or less tell me what kind of
person I'm having dinner with. My theory is that when
it comes to important subjects, there's only two ways a
person can answer. For instance, there's only two
kinds of people in the world, Elvis people and Beatles
people. Now Beatles people can like Elvis. And Elvis
people can like the Beatles. But nobody likes them
both equally. Somewhere you have to make a choice.
And that choice tells me who you are.
This is just dialogue you can feel good about it. Maybe you won't remember it while you're watching the adrenaline shot scene, but something about it completely resonates with the quirkiness that is humanity.
One of my better pieces of dialogue I've ever written follows (I didn't say it was GOOD, just one of my better efforts)
RILEY
(quietly, without opening his eyes)
See anything you like?
MARY
Actually, the nurses have a bet going on whether
your nose is real. I have $50 riding on NO.
RILEY
And what would my cut of the money be if I told
you that you were right?
MARY
Not enough to pay for your drinking and driving
ticket. Definitely not enough for your hospital bill.
RILEY
Ouch! At least it was only a-
MARY
Riding lawnmower? Yeah, because that’s SO much
better. Can’t you just see the headlines? Right up
there with Marilyn Monroe, tortured drug overdose,
and riding lawnmower accident. Who do you people
think you are?
(quietly, without opening his eyes)
See anything you like?
MARY
Actually, the nurses have a bet going on whether
your nose is real. I have $50 riding on NO.
RILEY
And what would my cut of the money be if I told
you that you were right?
MARY
Not enough to pay for your drinking and driving
ticket. Definitely not enough for your hospital bill.
RILEY
Ouch! At least it was only a-
MARY
Riding lawnmower? Yeah, because that’s SO much
better. Can’t you just see the headlines? Right up
there with Marilyn Monroe, tortured drug overdose,
and riding lawnmower accident. Who do you people
think you are?
In retrospect, perhaps I should have posted mine first. At least I could have had the time it took you to scroll before it paled in comparison. Something to aspire too.
That's why we need to write together!
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