November 11th

I was not there, the day you landed on that beach, slogged through that mud, sat shivering in that trench. The day you offered what little you had left for the promise of what I could be in the future. It would be a long time before I would be here, and even longer before I could fully appreciate what you gave, so I could be.

I wear my poppy proudly, knowing that you offered everything you had. Knowing that a wife like me sat at home with with your picture in her hand dreading that knock on the door. Knowing that a woman, like me, shed countless tears into bloody hands as she tried to nurse so many of you back to your former selves. Knowing that a man, like you drew his last breath for the life I live today.

I wish it was easier, to see the promise you fought for. To cut through the mess and dive into the hope that you brought for us. I wish we had done you more justice. I wish your sacrifice was the last. Maybe someday, somewhere, someone like you will be the last. For what you gave, I honour you, thank you, and assure you that I have not forgotten.

Post Scriptchat Chat.

I'm sitting here, post #scriptchat thinking about my career as a writer, getting ready for my job as a waitress. After the unique and exciting experience that was #scriptchat, I feel better and worse. Better because I was always told that writers were a competitive community who weren't in the game to help each other out. That's clearly not true of all writers, as I've seen time and time again since joining Twitter. Worse because I know what I'm up against. There are SO MANY other talented writers out there. Who am I to think I have an equal talent level to these folks? I'm still a total beginner. And while I am one of the few who still believes in beginners luck, I can't help feeling that I'm going to be holding my breath for a long time (or sneaking in an oxygen tank when no one else is looking)

Also, things like THIS don't make me feel any better (Since, clearly the internet is there to make me feel better about myself). I'm not saying he's wrong, in fact its probably in your best interest to live in the right geographic in order to work your career, though I know of more than a few exceptions. But I don't want to move to Toronto. I just don't. Nothing against the city, but its not in the cards for us right now. So I'm holding on to the hope that I can be the exception. (Peter is a smart guy and a great writer, so his words are harder to pass of than random e-chatter)

I've never been a quitter, though sometimes my follow-through is weak. This is one area where I'm not willing to give up. I will continue to be hopeful, and push myself, exorcising all career avenues available to me. Hope is hope, even if its a fool's hope.